With studies [1] emerging focused on the effect of the COVID-19 pandemic on mental health, it’s more important than ever to cultivate a positive relationship with resources, techniques, and support systems that aid in coping with stress and mental illness. In fact, just googling “pandemic depression” brings up a whole host of suggestions and coping techniques. The suggestion to “reach out and stay connected”[2] shows that interpersonal communication is crucial to maintaining one’s mental health. And it shows - Zoom’s growth has been explosive, as well as Microsoft Teams and various other apps meant to improve connection and communication. Even online dating[3] saw a massive surge during quarantine.
While we focus on mental health and its intersection with communication, we should rethink what we know about “gossip.” I know what you’re thinking— that gossip as we’ve come to know it is hurtful and alienating. However, though the act of discussing someone while they’re absent has been demonized as inherently bad, studies [4] show that actively hurtful forms of gossip make up as little as 3 to 4% of all gossip in general.
This is not to minimize the negative impact gossip can have—disparaging comments about absent parties can and does lead to ostracization and poor mental health for the person being discussed, particularly when that person is a woman or person of color.
However, think of every time you’ve talked with family members over the past year—every celebration of birth and every drive-through graduation. Think of the times you and your significant other asked about each other’s families. Think of the times you and a coworker discussed the outfits on the Oscars red carpet. Though we don’t live our lives wearing rose-colored glasses and, at times, express our frustration with others without them knowing, this frustration is rarely expressed as gossip. We are inclined to create connections, not break them, because conflict resolution has a positive effect on our mental health.
So where does gossip come into play? Gossip has been shown to be uniting, not dividing. A study [5] from Dartmouth shows that gossip is simply a function of interpersonal communication, encourages trust, helps in building social bonds—two things that are vital during a pandemic, when being able to trust the people we come into contact with can quite literally mean life or death.
Being able to express our stressors, fears, and desires is also crucial to mental health: it’s why therapy is such a critical resource. While your work bestie is no stand-in for a certified therapist, expressing frustration or worry in a low-risk environment through gossip is still helpful, and receiving approval and encouragement only further encourages this sharing.
It’s easy to look at “gossip” in the context of scandalous media like Gossip Girl and TMZ, but the fact of the matter is, most gossip is good. Destigmatizing this social function and participating in it goes a long way towards managing our daily stressors, and we all could all use a little less stress.
References
https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6932a1.htm
https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html
https://fortune.com/2021/02/12/covid-pandemic-online-dating-apps-usage-tinder-okcupid-bumble-meet-group/
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/gossip-is-good/561737/
https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(21)00463-2
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